My Playground

Today is the last day of my surgical rotation and it ended with three back to back sugery. Loved that. So throughout this week I've been in surgery observing and helping around with little things. At the end of my rotation, I have made a decision. The decision is that the operating theater is my playground. So thoes who looking at buying me presents, don't get too offened if I do not look to surprised with my gifts. Trust me, I will love them all. But unless you sudden find the means to buy me an operating theater with all the equipments and materials intact, top it off with so plastice people for me to practise on, I won't be all crazy over it. Haha.

Anyway, I had a really good week and felt that I really learnt alot medically and non-medically. I really felt comfortable, as if surgery is the right thing for me to be doing and that I really liked it. Also, I realised from this week that maybe, just maybe, I am actually a crazy workaholic who will grow up to live and breathe my career. The hospital I work in will probably be my second home that I would spend long hours in. And at the end of the long day when I finally can't find excuses for myself to stay on, I will find it fullfilling. Then, it will start all over again and I will be the first one in the next day. I think thats what I see myself doing when I grow up and I'm going to like that.

I don't know what to say, so I just smile.

Love,
kathleen

Surgery

Today is my first day of surgical rotation in my elective in Malaysia. I loved it. I love helping in surgery, watching surgery and I think I will love doing surgery even more. I learnt so much today I don't even know where to start. I think I will really become a surgeon when I grow up. I know I said that before but it feels so me when I'm in the surgery. And the learning bit, makes me feel that I'm alive, makes me feel that I'm really me. The feeling is amazing. You have to had experience it to know what I'm talking about. I'm so high right now cause I just came out from watching a total thyroid removal and helped in the abscess drainage on a breast. It's awesome.

Anyway, my day start with a code blue. Never seen one before. I stood in a corner with my eyes wide open and trying to see everything while trying to keep out of everyone's way at the same time. It's busy like crazy. That actually rhymed. Haha. Anyway, code blue, as a med student, the best thing to do is to just stay out of people's way unless you get called for. Which you never will. Want to know why? Because you are a med student and you don't know anything. You are like the most useless person in the room. And it's true. Just stand there and learn. And stay out of the way. Oh, and I just realised today that CPR is actually really tiring. I saw them sweating after doing CPR.

Then we have to break a bad news to a patient. Like a really really bad news. I don't think I want to talk about it today. But breaking bad news is like part of being a doctor isn't it. Not everyone can be helped. We have our limits and it is important to acknowledge that.

Then we went to surgery. I watched an thyroid removal. It is a four hours long surgery. But you know what is the magic about it? You don't even realised that you were there for four hours. Its awesome. Then I learnt about anesthesiology things and the importance of looking after the patient even after the surgery. The things to look out for, and the way the patient behaves when they are waking up. Mind blowing. After that, I helped in a breast abscess drainage. It was like a tiny thing but it was still great. Didn't end my day till 9pm though. But totally worth it.

Anyway, I think live and breathe medicine. I don't even know why I was in medicine. It was a gut instinct. But I stepped in, and never looked back ever since.

love,
kathleen

The Feeling of Guilt

So today is the last day of my pediatric rotation. Anyway, for the entire week, I've been constantly quizzed about random stuffs that I had studied but forgotten.

First question on the way to rounds. What did you read last night? Opps. I shook my head. I read about aspergers syndrome but I'm not about to tell him that. He will think I'm weird.

I felt pretty bad about not knowing answers to simple questions. For example, what is the side effect of gentamycin? The answer was nephrotoxicity. Simple questions. Then staff nurses couldn't answer but that was a bit expected but he looked very disappointed that I couldn't answer it either.

Then he asked me what are the most common organism that causes pneumonia in neonates and toddlers. I don't know the answer. So he told me after awhile like 3 room visits later. Then I ask why. Guess what answer I got? Don't question the teacher why when you yourself haven't' done the reading. It just shows your weakness. Embarrassing for me because he told me off in front of the stuff nurse. I'm sure he would use the word lazy on me if the nurse weren't there.

But after rounds, he told me he doesn't know how to teach me because I don't do my readings. BANG!!! That hurt. I didn't say anything because it is true right? How to help someone who is not helping herself. Damn it. The acting medical director of the hospital thinking that I am lazy is not good. He probably thinks I'm pretty stupid too. Shrugs.

He then brought me to watch a cesarean. Highlight of the week. When we came out, he smiled at me and said that he was scared that I was going to faint at the sight of blood. Anyway, that op was amazing. There is this sense of joy and miracle when the baby was delivered.

After that he sent me off with the visiting peds surgeon. So I got to watch three of the same operation that I don't think I want to name at this stage. It's a minor surgery but not for those who are undergoing it. One really screamed and cried.

It was a great and inspiring rotation. At least I'm not too scared of kids anymore. But I felt really guilty after this week though. Should start studying harder. No denying that I am pretty lazy for the past two years school work wise. I got the grades I got because of some kind of little smartness and instincts. Would have done better if I start actually start studying. So I'm going to start now. Study some basic peds stuffs. At least the questions he asked.

Maybe I should walk up to him on my last day of my attachment and tell him all the answers to his questions. Should I? Maybe it's not too nice to do that. I don't know.

love,
kathleen

The Irony of Medicine When Medical Students Are Involved

Alright, so this is my second week of attachment with the hospital. There is basically only 1 patient for the entire day and I've been here since 7:30am. So I've been sitting in the patient waiting area next to the magazine stand and finished reading all the magazines on it, which includes the Malaysian Medical Journal and Newsweek. So eventually when I ran out of material to entertain myself, a thought came to mind and I'm sharing it with you.

If you ever find yourself or someone you know that has to go to the hospital. Blame the medical students. Here is why.

When a medical student has nothing to do, he/she gets bored. So all he/she can do is sit around. So we sometimes get so bored that we wished that someone gets hurt or fall ill enough to get them to the hospital. This way, we get something to do and something to learn. Make sense?

So if you or someone turn up to the hospital and there are medical students involved, you would know who to glare at momentarily to blame them, especially if the hospital is quite. But don't stare too long though. We would get scared and trust me, sometimes, medical students are the ones who would be really helpful because we ask loads of questions that make the doctor more careful about treating the patient. So when we get scared, we either shut up or drop off the case and hope for another one.

Anyway, I was half way through that top part of this post when I got picked up to go see a laparoscopic appendectomy. It is awesome. Plus I learnt how to make stitches, put in a urinary catheter and reasons to why certain things or material are used. On top of that, a ride home. But I think the most important thing that I learnt today is to always be polite to people around you, especially your surgical team and superiors. Want to know why? Because when you are polite, have a nice smile, and listen to all the things they say even when it's not related, they see it, know it and remember it. It has to be genuine though, otherwise they know it too. So when there is something nice and interesting, they push it your way, and you learn some really good stuff. Of course, you just have to be around at the right place at the right timing too.

love,
kathleen

First Overseas Hospital Attachment

Alright, for those who actually follows my blog, which I doubt there is many if any, sorry about the lack of posting. School has been pretty busy with school work and exams, and soon enough, wosh, it's summer break again. Yay to summer break.

So latest update on my side, hmm, lets start with, I passed second year of med school, so that's good. This means that I'm promoted to third year, moving from pre clinical to clinical, which is kind of a big move, not as big as going from being a medlet to a doctor though. Haha. Plenty to look forward to then. So next semerster I would be considered junior senior. Like the group of little seniors who think they are so smart because they can give advice to the first and second years , actually know what they are talking about, and tell them to just hang in there because they will miss it when it passes.

Next, I have been selected to be one of the 30 medical students to represent Australia in the East Asian Medical Student Conference in Bangkok, Thailand. It is a week long of conference stuffs ( more like half day conference and half day touring), and it is about adolescent health. Plus, I'm the youngest in the team (pretty sure), and helping to write the paper which was selected as the top 10 finalist to present in the conference itself. And I have a foot in the public poster design. Haha. So I'm going to Bangkok for the conference and a quick holiday just the week before school actually starts.

Lastly, I am currently on my first overseas hospital attachment. I am learning from consultants in the Senawang Specialist Hospital in Senawang, Malaysia. They are all awesome people there and I am learning heaps. Probably more then what clinical skills taught in school. I feel so fortunate to be able to be there. So for the next four weeks, I would be pretty busy learning some real hospital things and seeing real patients, real results and real x-rays. No more make belief ones that I have to lie to myself that they are real cases in school. Plus, we start to have real patients in school next year too.

On the down side though, I missed out on a trip to east Africa as I chose to do the attachment. It's worth it though. Africa won't be teaching me much medical stuffs, probably end up with a mind ready for engineering school instead. Haha. There is always next time to get to Africa and see Victoria Fall and all the cool, wild animals. Perhaps I should start planning a two months trip to go around Africa. Not enough though but thats as much summer as I get.There is apparently so many that you see giraffe on the high way being accidentally road killed. Ohh, do you know, in Africa, only individuals who are lucky gets selected to work over time. Interesting.

Last, thing for real, for those who just missed me, I actually just left Singapore a week ago. Will be in Singapore over the Christmas season though.

I just that's all for now.
Till next time, probably after my attachment to tell you all the cool things I did.

love,
kathleen